I'm back! ...As .you probably noticed, I took a little, well-deserved blogging hiatus! Sorry about that! ...but this was a concious decision. My last blog was 5 weeks post my BRCA1 preventative double mastectomy. A week or so after that, I decided that it wasn't necessarily helpful for my recovery process to be constantly thinking/refering everything I was doing back to my surgery. I needed to let myself enjoy getting back into the swing of normality, focusing on the things I was doing in the present moment and looking forward. As everything I had done, even thought about, in the months of September/October had been so completely surgery orientated. So, thanks for letting me have my little blogging break!
...And here is my last 2 months in a nutshell: I eased myself back into doing and teaching my beloved yoga again, I started heading out and about much more regularly, I restarted school and my nutritional consultation work ...basically I started life as usual, feeling like I was fit as a fiddle...
...And everything had been going FABULOUSLY... until.... well, it's typical really, isn't it?!... Early last week I had literally just started thinking that it was probably time to blog again, to let you all know just how lucky I have been in my cruisy, bump-free road to full recovery. I had even downloaded these two plump little grapefruits for the blog, as the perfect representation of my incredibly well-behaved girls! .....well-behaved until this time last week.
I left the UK in early December (after getting two-thumbs up from my breast care nurses) and spent a couple of amazing, sunny weeks with fabulous friends in Dubai and attending a stunning 3-day wedding with my mum, in the beautiful desert of Ras Al Khaimah. Things were feeling pretty perfect! ...It was my last day in the desert, I hopped out of bed in the morning, went for a swim, ate breakfast, looked in the mirror ...and saw that my left boob had collapsed. I hadn't felt anything, as I no longer have nerve endings in there, but it was very clear from looking at it that something was definitely wrong! My left breast was sitting lower and half of it was flat ...the best comparison that I can think of is that it looked like a punched cartoon! ...You know when a cartoon gets hit in the side of the head and so half of their head goes flat, while the other half is still round and full ...yes, unfortunately, just like that! Reeeeally funny in Tom & Jerry, but not so funny on my chest! It was very distressing to see it like that ...ample stress and tears, as you can probably imagine. Thankfully my mama was there to calm me down and make a plan: I flew out of Dubai later that day, landed in Singapore and went straight in to see a breast specialist.
The Diagnosis: a couple of the stiches holding my implant in place have popped open, so my implant has shimmied out of it's hammock (the piece of material keeping the underneath of my implant in place, needed as I obviously have no tissue in my breast to keep it locked in position).
Prescription: wear the biggest, tightest medical bra that you have ever seen (super sexy as you can imagine!) to hold the implant back where it should be sitting ...this may fix it on it's own, or I may need to be slightly reopened and restitched when I return to the UK. Boo!....
But WHY did this happen?!! I didn't do anything different ...the doctor assured me that it wasn't my yoga, as I do much more yoga in London than I had over my last week in the UAE ...the answer is simple: I wore a bikini and cocktail dresses! So although my chest may have FELT fine and the nurses had given me the 'ok' to live life as normal, it seems my girls still needed more support. By wearing less-nuturing clothing, well, I allowed my lefty to jump ship. Bugger. ...Since then I have been religiously wearing my corset-esque, nana bra (not ideal as I am holidaying in the sunny tropics!) and things seem to have settled back kind-of-in-place again ...so keep your fingers crossed for me please!
So, anyhoo, as much as I wish I was writing with the bestest boobie news ever, unfortuantely, it looks like I am STILL on this journey to boob recovery ...a path which has taken an annoying turn. But it's ok. This whole turn of events has made me reflect on the importance of perspective ...this is just a mini blip, all part of my preventative process ...I mean, really, ANY blip that I endure now, is better than the breast cancer I could have experienced. ...So, take this away with you too and remember the 'big-picture' notion. Keep this in mind as you go on with your day: any imperfect moments that you experience today are just minor blips in the grand scheme of things. So, focus on your positive, rather than your negative. ....Me? I don't have breast cancer. That's my positive ...and that's a BIG positive ...so really, anything else that happens now, is just a teeny little blip.
Good to be back guys! Thanks for reading!
Love, Emma xx